I once worked with a person who insisted on reading the end of a book first or on finding out from someone the end of a movie before seeing it because they wanted to know how it ended before they got invested. It pissed me off. Well, now comes "The Vampire Diaries" on one of those lame teen TV networks and, though I don't know her any more, I really think this is a show written for someone like her. She would easily predict what will happen and be glad that everything will have a happy ending just like it says on the site for L.J. Smith, the author of the books for which the series is based.

I promise you I hated the show. Here's why: unless you never watched or read a book (aside from the Stephanie Meyers crap) about vampires, you'll know what will happen. At some point I just started to watch the clock and figured out very quickly that the script is perfectly timed. I never noticed this in shows well written. Here's the timeline I noted:

0:00-0:08 Narration a la brooding confession combined with lots of perfect hair, dark wet streets, beating into your head that the lead female dark teenager, Elena, lost both her parents in recent times, heavy amounts of pressure on her to be happy.

At 8 minutes in: Vampire Stefan glamours a person of authority a la Obi Wan Kenobi Jedi mind tricks.

At 9 minutes in: Vampire Stefan and Elena are eye-to-eye, AWKWARD! ...but he's no "Angel."
Sometime in the next ten minutes we're supposed to be all mystified by a crow in a cemetery, fake dry ice fog... are you goths still with me?

At 17 minutes in: Object of importance is planted... the diary.

At 19 minutes in: first ironic joke between human and vampire (aw, if she only knew he was a vampire and how much that is so ironic), gag, cough, gag.

Group scenes with Stefan and the teens involve lots of silent gawking and ditzy blonde comments from the female teen named Caroline, who's no Cordelia Chase.

At 20 minutes in: Elena feels the bond. Oh, yes, Vampire Stefan writes a diary too. Utterly phenomenal stuff, really. More moments of dumb gawking.

At 23 minutes in, we are shown a woman from Stefan's past that, guess what, looks just like Elena!

At 35 minutes in, you see Elena thinking Stefan is kind of weird, big HMMMMMMMMM.

At 36 minutes in, the first attempted kill (damn) of a somewhat disposable character. If you didn't know that walking alone in the dark in a suburban forest well lit by set lights was dangerous, well, bad girl sex addict, you will soon find out. The character is named Vicki (played by "Freaks and Geeks" alum who did 3 episodes, Kayla Ewell), whom by the way is close friends with Elena's brother whom is way too mothered by Elena that it's almost like incest.

At 42 minutes in, we meet the big bad guy of the series, Vampire Damon, played by the botoxifull Ian Somerhalder, remember Locke's "friend" from "Lost"? Yeah, that guy. Sad that he was bearing a completely expressionless face. BUT, and a big but, he was mocking Vampire Stefan referencing the mystical fog and spooky crow! One point goes to Vampire Damon!

At this point I am nearly in tears that it isn't nearly over yet and that I committed to reviewing the pilot episode for this blog, but finally, 51 minutes into the goth-forsaken episode, we see a fight between Damon and Stefan, like some real physical action for about 10 seconds. But Vampire Damon doesn't even growl for real, it's recorded! Damon even needs some special effects to move his face into a frightening sneer! Lots of "men beating chest" and "I'm stronger," and "No, I'm stronger."

At 54 minutes in, the word "vampire" is uttered for the first time by the victim of the attack while recovering in a hospital.

At 59 minutes in, Elena invites Vampire Stefan in... fade to black.

If reading this was sheer agony for you, then try watching this pilot, or rather, don't and spend that time making an effort to do something really important like dye some pretty lace outfit from bright white to midnight black and wear it out on the town with your hair all wild for a drink of some delicious dark red wine with your favorite buddy. Life is too short to spend a minute watching "The Vampire Diaries."

new book: Andromeda Klein by Frank Portman

If you're digging the young adult novels or are seeking something fun to read, check out Andromeda Klein by Frank Portman, his follow-up to his first book King Dork. You may just see him singing in a bookstore soon. He's on tour to promote Andromeda Klein.

Portman, aka Dr. Frank, was the singer in the '80s pop-punk band The Mr. T Experience. In 2006, his first book King Dork was published by Delacorte Press. It went so well that they wanted him to write some more books and songs. His words are brilliant just like the band names that the King Dork character, Tom Henderson, invented, which include Tennis with Guitars, The Mordor Apes, Ray Bradbury's Love-Camel, and The Underpants Machine.

If you are a young adult/teen reader, you can volunteer at one of the signings or by contacting him ahead of time to plan which passage you want to read from in either book.

Here's an article from The East Bay Express.

video: Peter Murphy sings with NIN on "Reptile"

You cannot see much:


Or watch this.

video: Charlie Rose Interview with Guillermo del Toro

If you are nearly through with reading The Strain, by Chuck Hogan and Guillermo del Toro then watch the Charlie Rose Interview with Guillermo del Toro. It won't spoil it.

I really loved so many passages in this book. It's not as dense as I have seen some horror stories. The Strain makes for a great summer read if you just want some meaty vampire fiction.

Del Toro and Hogan's shrewdly chosen details of each scene is filmlike. You see the landscape, the toy that the child is touching and the food that they're eating as part of the physical setting and then, WHAM!, their entire fate comes into question in seconds and then its over.

Taking a slower pace at the beginning helps the reader grasp a sense of the characters whom are genuine humans they would personally know. The intro is a contrast to the faster paced action towards the middle and end of the book by its careful unfolding mysterious occurrence on a TransAtlantic Flight, following a planetary event, when suddenly chaos begins to develop on the tiny island of Manhattan. The beginning takes a little too long, for my short-attention mind wanting instant action. At first I became increasingly concerned I would not find it unpredictable, but it actually kept me really surprised and I loved even what I knew was about to happen.

"It's as sexy as rectal cancer," del Toro says to Charlie Rose. Yeah, there were definitely parts of the story that made me question if I should be reading during the part of lunch where I enjoy a snack. Somehow the gory images got to me. Milk is definitely a metaphor... pretty cool, too.

I hope it does have a sequel. Del Toro hints at it in the interview.

Caution, if you check out the book's trailer, you should have already gotten to the chapter titled "The Second Night" or what you see could dampen your own imagination from adding more to the image of the "beast" in the book.

True Blood Paper Dolls!

True Blood paper dolls!. Designer and cartoonist Andy Swist has debuted a printable paper-doll collection based on characters from the series. There's a contest, too, and a hilarious video explaining their plans to do more paper dolls.

Jerichow in theatres now

Jerichow is one of my favorite films from the 2009 Berlin & Beyond Film Festival. Read the review of the film I added to Netflix. It is German language, subtitled in English.


Lead actor Benno Furmann has also starred in The Princess and the Warrior and in the film Joyeux Noel.

Michael Jackson's accident during the Pepsi shoot revealed

Unearthed graphic video (you've been warned) of the pyrotechnics injuring the 25-year old Michael Jackson while shooting a Pepsi commercial.


I have a theory as to why Jackson must have not felt the burning flames until the stage crew started to put it out: the alcohol in the hair product he used burned off initially before the flames scorched his scalp and face. The look on his face as he is picked up off the floor and escorted out is of shock from the pain. But I think he smelled the burning by the time he hits the main stage where he begins singing because he begins to take off his jacket, which he didn't do in the first take. He may have thought his clothes caught fire. It is quite obvious that safety precautions were not taken such as wearing non-flammable products and having a Michael Jackson stunt double first rehearse it several times to test the timing of the pyrotechnics before using pyrotechnics with the real Michael Jackson. The recovery from 2nd and 3rd degree burns is not always smooth; a risk of infection is always possible and the scarring can still cause pain to the touch while it is healing. The unfortunate fact is that he may never had become addicted to pain killers if this preventable accident had not occurred.

Enki Bilal - Animal'z on exhibit and up for auction in France

Here is a Google translated interview with graphic artist, writer and filmmaker Enki Bilal by Alexandre Phalippou of the La Tribune where Bilal explains why he "will be exhibiting at Artcurial the 350 cases of [his] latest BD, Animal'z from 8 July to 10 September. They will then be auctioned on 19 September."

worst faux pas, bad man Joe Jackson using his son's death to plug label

Joe Jackson plugging his label... no way, shut up!??? Yup, I watched him do it on the red carpet, too.

Whether people are sad or not about Michael Jackson suddenly dying before his 50-date concert event, no one seems to ponder for a minute that fans and his family would have been traumatized at seeing him collapse to his death on stage while performing. The media would have gotten hold of footage of it and endlessly replay it to the horror of the family and young fans.

Rolling Stone magazine blogged the new rehearsal images where you can tell from the light shining silhouetting the dark shirt under the yellow sleeves (possibly the sleeves were tailored for his ease of movement) how painfully thin Jackson was and couldn't have weighed more than 120-130 lbs. at 5'10".

In addition, I'm guessing that he had been on and off addicted to pain killers that were prescribed following his surgeries. Anyone withdrawing from pain meds will go through headaches, vomiting and diarrhea, which can account for significant weight loss. Following withdrawal, you may feel well, but putting your body through perspiring and daily heightened physical activity while being 50 years old... the heart just cannot take it unless it is closely monitored every day and the person is eating and hydrating enough to withstand the calories they're burning and the fluids that they're losing.

No one is talking about whether or not he had his vitiligo condition dealt with via depigmentation therapy with Monobenzyl Ether of Hydroquinone. It is applied topically for lightening the skin, killing the melanocytes. Side effects are skin irritation and inflammation, however its ingredients are found in disinfectants, germicides, condoms and rubber aprons. Just makes you wonder how the body can tolerate these chemicals along with repetitive use of anesthetics for cosmetic surgery.

I listened to Art Bell on Coast to Coast AM on Friday night and he said that he never would have revealed this info while Jackson was alive, but he was living in Pahrump, NV, up until recently. It makes sense that Pahrump would be a secluded and sparsely populated town to hide out, but also the dry climate is better for people who have health problems including muscle aches and aching bones or sore joints. It is a little over an hour between Pahrump and Las Vegas and he could have retained the doctor, who is based out of Las Vegas, and who was with him when he died, while he was living in Pahrump.

While I hear the media speculate on whether or not he was given meds in the 24 hours leading up to his death, no one is mentioning how much we learned about prescription drug abuse from Heath Ledger's accidental overdose.

If Jackson was given any prescriptions to treat anxiety, aching muscles, and insomnia, the "cocktail mix" of these medicines even at prescribed dosages could be intolerable for someone with no food in their stomach and for someone with a lightweight build. Breathing will slow first. Without lung function, the heart slows and then stops. Why individuals are not able to be resuscitated could be because the toxicity level was far greater than understood before CPR is administered.

His entire life is a duality of great success and a very long, sad story. I am not re-watching the rebroadcast of "Living with Michael Jackson" story that aired in 2003. It's too difficult to watch him feed Blanket aka Prince Michael II while his legs are shaking the baby on his lap. Jackson hated this documentary. I hope the family finds closure soon and that the media finds some way to evolve past the scandals (the media never will, but I can hope). I choose to enjoy the pre-90s era of his career because I can appreciate the effects and influence his dance and music had on many pop and non-pop artists to follow. His use of costume in his changing image and his media stunts have all been repeated but never could be duplicated. I did tear up at seeing an emotional Janet Jackson followed by Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo's duet of "I'll Be There."

Tetro Q&A with Coppola on June 26, 2009

It's not really a "Wednesday" type of movie, but Tetro will be presented with a Q&A to follow by Francis Ford Coppola on Friday, June 26, 2009 at 7:30pm at the Sundance Kabuki in San Francisco.

{article} There's an art to writing on Facebook or Twitter -- really

A while back I posted about Twitter. Today I read a new article relating to the nonsense people choose or not choose to read from their tweeting friends. The entire left panel of this article lists the DOs and DON'Ts. I especially agree with "DONT: Tweet like some celebs"... EXACTLY: They don't know how to write!... They leave out crucial facts. One wonders if there will be a revolution from this instant message madness where Twitter and Facebook accounts will require the "joiner" to write a complete sentence that makes sense and actually contains something of substance in less than 15 seconds.

NPR: Joss Whedon - Slayers, Dolls and Singing Villains

Three months ago I wrote this below entry about "Dollhouse" and I want to state here that I'm glad I stuck with it and that Fox is sticking with it!

original post on 3/10/09 at 6:26PM
This is an excellent conversation that Joss Whedon has with NPR's David Bianculli about his new show "Dollhouse" which airs on Fox on Friday nights.

Watching the first four episodes of "Dollhouse" I am not sold on it, but I'm sticking with it. I was eager to love it, but then the constant flesh-sploitation of the women characters was a turn off for me. I care more about what's often going on with the characters that have two lines such as Amy Acker's Claire Saunders.

The interview also extensively covers Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog with samples of the musical commentary that can be found on DVD as an audio commentary musical track.

(SNL) Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals

It is very TV Funhouse-like to use live animals so in a way it is a nod to Robert Smigel's twisted sense of humor except the sketch is missing the puppet characters. Andy Samberg is a perfect soundalike and lookalik to Mark Wahlberg.

(SNL) Giraffes!

I found this and remembered that I loved it the first time and I love it even more now! It's made by the Dudes aka The Lonely Island

{interview} John Bergin on Spoiler Alert Radio

If you are a filmmaker or graphic artist turning art into film, listen to artist/musician/filmmaker John Bergin being interviewed on Spoiler Alert Radio. It covers a great deal about his work including his making of the movie From Inside.

Addams Family Musical news

Since the last post, more news has come in which includes casting news. The website for Addams Family Musical is using portraits of the Charles Addams-drawn characters so when you mouseover each one, you see which actor is playing the character. If you click on "tickets", you can subscribe to updates. I was able to find a ticket for the Oriental Theatre shows (Chicago) in a search today although it says public sale is 5/29/09. The musical is scheduled to begin previews on Broadway (NYC) on March 4, 2010 and to open on April 8. I would rather wait to see it on Broadway so I can visit friends in NY and take them to a show.

Not looking good for the show Reaper

Some are predicting that "Reaper" is not going to be renewed. It's a shame. It barely had a chance and it's really a very hilarious show. Actor Tyler Labine, whom plays Sock, will likely be seen again, maybe as soon as Fall 2009 on Fox's "Sons of Tucson". Ray Wise plays the Devil and will have no shortage of work.

She played the girl in the hood...

...actually a little red riding hood. Finally!!! The short film starring Christina Ricci as Little Red Riding Hood will soon be available to watch on DVD. It was back in 1997 that the award-winning film played several film festivals. Those who caught it then, and later on the Sundance Channel, swooned at the site of Ricci being hunted down by a beautiful wolf creature played by dancer Timour Bourtasenkov. Narrator Quentin Crisp eloquently told the tale of a teen's first exploration into danger. It's available on June 16, 2009, so don't hesitate on adding this one to your collection.

Berkeley, CA's The Bone Room will be on Mythbusters

Store owner Ron Cauble has just reported that The Bone Room will be on Mythbusters in an upcoming episode.

Here's a video recently made about the store.